I know exactly what I’m doing and that I’m safe. Holy fucking shit.
April 2013
I’M SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. STOP TREATING ME LIKE I’M 12 AND CAN’T GO HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS.
“03/24/13
I will never forget that date. The date that my grandpa was looking over me, my guardian angel. God has a plan for Coaltyn and I. He could have made us one of his angels but he wasn’t ready for us yet. I’m very thankful we are both okay and alive. I keep looking back on flashbacks of the crash and that is something that I never want to to through again. Coming unconscious and seeing the person you just saw literally a second ago not even in the car with you while you are upside down. Screaming at the top of your lungs while crying so hard. Having the entire car smashed forward and the entire back of the car pushed forward and wondering how you are even alive after that. Having your first thoughts that the person you were just with is dead. Having it be 3 o’clock in the morning with no service and you are in the middle of no where with only a few houses near you. Undoing the seat belt hanging upside down and trying to get out of the car and when you get out of the car you are in so much shock not realizing the concept of how long I was unconscious for or if Coaltyn got ejected. Spitting blood out of your mouth and going to look back in the car and not being able to even know what side of the car you were on. Trying your hardest to run down to the closest house you can get to while limping and starting to feel how much pain you are in, having a bloody hand wondering how that even happened, trying to keep calm because everytime you started breathing to hard from freaking out or even breath your chest started to tighten up and you really can’t breath. Going up to a house at 3 in the morning ringing the doorbell over and over again and not having anyone answer the door, thinking to yourself, no one is going to help us. Once I saw someone drive to us and me seeing Coaltyn in the ditch and moving. Knowing he’s okay. I prayed as soon as I got out of the car. Being in the ambulance just thinking to yourself, please God don’t take me right now. I will never forget that night.” —
I will never forget that date. The date that my grandpa was looking over me, my guardian angel. God has a plan for Coaltyn and I. He could have made us one of his angels but he wasn’t ready for us yet. I’m very thankful we are both okay and alive. I keep looking back on flashbacks of the crash and that is something that I never want to to through again. Coming unconscious and seeing the person you just saw literally a second ago not even in the car with you while you are upside down. Screaming at the top of your lungs while crying so hard. Having the entire car smashed forward and the entire back of the car pushed forward and wondering how you are even alive after that. Having your first thoughts that the person you were just with is dead. Having it be 3 o’clock in the morning with no service and you are in the middle of no where with only a few houses near you. Undoing the seat belt hanging upside down and trying to get out of the car and when you get out of the car you are in so much shock not realizing the concept of how long I was unconscious for or if Coaltyn got ejected. Spitting blood out of your mouth and going to look back in the car and not being able to even know what side of the car you were on. Trying your hardest to run down to the closest house you can get to while limping and starting to feel how much pain you are in, having a bloody hand wondering how that even happened, trying to keep calm because everytime you started breathing to hard from freaking out or even breath your chest started to tighten up and you really can’t breath. Going up to a house at 3 in the morning ringing the doorbell over and over again and not having anyone answer the door, thinking to yourself, no one is going to help us. Once I saw someone drive to us and me seeing Coaltyn in the ditch and moving. Knowing he’s okay. I prayed as soon as I got out of the car. Being in the ambulance just thinking to yourself, please God don’t take me right now. I will never forget that night.” —
March 2013
This accident made me realize so much. Be thankful for life everyday. Good day or bad day be thankful. Some of my friends who I thought were my friends really weren’t. One simple phone call or text probably would have proved something but that never happened
Tattoo
You are my guardian angel
(With a angel praying her knees with a halo on her head) March 24, 2013 (accident)
Grandpa Baller. Rest in peace
To this day I am so ashamed I let you treat me the way you did. I have never felt so insecure in my life, ever. You scared me and whenever anyone brings you up I can’t help but feel so angry for all the things you said to me, did to me and overall that I never once stood up for myself. I don’t know what I ever saw in you. You made me feel so miserable. I want you to see everyday how happy I am without you and that you see how I should be treated. Every single day horrible memories run through my mind of what you did to me. You fucked with my head and now its effecting me for the long run. I wish I could go back and never got to know you, ever. I’m glad I cheated on you. Yeah that sounds bad but I could careless when it comes to you. Whenever I think about what you did to me it makes me want to cry. This is a scar that I hope goes away but it just won’t. I pray I forget every little thing about you, everything.
February 2013
- 4 weeks ago: single
- 3 weeks ago: single
- Last week: single
- Next week: single
- Next month: single
- Next year: single
- Next decade: single
- Next life: single
